Mason County News
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Around the Square
Wednesday, July 9, 2014 • Posted July 9, 2014

“Ah, sleep.

Perchance to dream.”

Little did Billy Bob Shakespeare know what the future would bring.

Oh, sure.

We sleep.

We dream.

But all night long our email box fills up with junk.

Spam, they call it.

After the ubiquitous canned food.

Hormel Foods Corporation must relish the free publicity.

Spam is no laughing matter to them.

(As they laugh all the way to the bank.)

Popular since 1937.

Very popular around the world.

In Hawaii, they consume more per capita than anywhere else in the U.S.

Classic Spam contains chopped pork shoulder meat, with ham meat added, salt, water, modified potato starch as a binder, sugar, and sodium nitrite as a preservative.

Nothing like a little cancer-causing nitrite to finish it off.

But then that’s true of most sausages, bacon, and other cured meats.

Spam’s gelatinous glaze, or aspic, forms from the cooling of meat stock.

How special.

And now we have email spam.

In one night, the world whirls.

Next morning we find out how to fix our vision, replace our windows, and feed our brains.

Send friends and family an e-Card.

Buy annuities or iPads.

Get a Smartphone.

Or a facelift (cleverly called “Lifestyle Lift”).

Join eHarmony (probably best to do so after the lift).

Buy a Hoton Home.

Or a timeshare.

Get a free solar quote.

Or a Ford or Chevy.

Get 80% off ink & toner.

Wonder if Shakespeare got 80% off his ink.

And all this in one night.

One single night, perchance to dream.

Get DirecTV.

Get DISH Network.

Get your credit score.

Get the solution to high blood pressure.

Reverse diabetes.

It just goes on and on.

All night long.

Don’t dare look at spam till morning.

Otherwise, forget about sleep.

Forget about dreams.

Not when there’s so much to decide---

Pursue a career in Criminal Justice.

Or buy Heidi Klum’s house for $25 million.

Should we or shouldn’t we?

That is the question.

That’s Mason.

Renee Walker is an author, poet, and real estate broker on the square with her Canine assistant, Buster.

This article has been read 15 times.
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