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THE IDLE AMERICAN
Wednesday, February 25, 2009 • Posted February 25, 2009

\What Goes Around, Comes Around…

Column #304 for Release Saturday, February 21, 2009, or Later

William Shakespeare, brilliant playwright who went through enough quills to start a feather duster factory, got it right with his oft-quoted line in King Lear.

“Uneasy rests the head that wears the crown,” said the bard of Avon about this time four centuries ago.

The line rings the bell of truth yet today. There are multiple current examples in the world of politics, sports and yes, even the animal kingdom….

  • * * * *

Let’s ignore the first reference. It requires all of our fingers and all of our toes to count all the political figures who’ve stumbled.

In this treatise, reflections are limited to a couple of sports figures whose crowns are wobbling, as well as a famous chimp.

I’m talking about the monkey who wound up in the obituary column….

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Sports reporters have been in a feeding frenzy since baseball star Alex Rodriguez admitted injecting a foreign substance into his body during his three seasons with the Texas Rangers.

He used words like “young, stupid and amateur” during his almost hour-long confession.

What he seems to desperately desire is to be cut additional slack by his fans, teammates, the media and team owners. Most of them are plumb out of slack. In short, they aren’t buying his story, despite his promise to give his best shot toward regaining their confidence. Alas, his Hall of Fame aspirations likely are down the drain. Yep, A-Rod’s face is “A-Red.”…

  • * * * *

In Lubbock, Texas Tech Coach Mike Leach risked much in balking at his new football coaching contract that was 10 months in the making. Perhaps he and his agent(s) should have given some thought to ill economic winds that are blowing straight into the faces of most folks on all continents. (With our economy in free fall, millions of Americans are cutting coupons to stretch dollars. Maybe this will help Johnson and Johnson, ‘cause I’m thinking that all the paper cuts must surely have band-aid sales soaring.)

That Leach was unavailable for comment in the final hours before his signing deadline fails to resonate. Seems he chose to attend a rugby match in Wales one day, and the Daytona 500 in Florida the next.

A rally for the coach drew 40 participants. This is reminiscent of folks with hired mourners at their funerals. When contracts aren’t worked out short of Regents’ involvement, coaching tenures are strained at best. Pity….

  • * * * *

Even a famous monkey couldn’t stand prosperity. Travis, a 200-pound chimp who dined on steak, lobster and ice cream provided by a lonely Connecticut widow, met a sad end.

A star of commercials and numerous TV appearances in earlier years, the 14-year-old was fatally shot by a policeman after he viciously attacked one of his owner’s friends. Surely he slipped a cog, or maybe it was the result of a round of Xanax said to have been administered by his owner.

Whatever, in a matter of minutes, he forfeited celebrity, crown and all. This “monkey business” is turning media grist mills faster than anything since the Scopes Trial….

  • * * * *

Members of the Texas State Board of Education helped keep primates in the news recently with debate about creationism and evolution.

This reminds me of the story of a smart monkey who was given copies of the Darwinian Theory of Evolution and the Holy Bible.

After reading both, the monkey was dizzied by ambivalence. Was he his brother’s keeper, or his keeper’s brother?...

  • * * * *

I’m hesitant to mention the name of my 96-year-old Uncle Mort immediately following “monkey talk,” but my phone is still warm from talking to him.

He told me that a long-time friend was among the 100 Texans from Cranfills Gap who recently spent five days and nights in Las Vegas as guests of the Convention and Visitors Authority. “I couldn’t wait to find out what he thought of Las Vegas,” Uncle Mort said.

“I didn’t see it,” the Gap resident answered. “What do you mean, you didn’t see it?” Mort challenged. “You were there for nearly a week.”

“I know,” his friend admitted, “But there was just so blamed much happening around the airport.”…

  • * * * *

I told my uncle that my wife and I have just returned from Las Vegas, and that we’ll tell about it next week….

  • * * * *

Dr. Newbury is a speaker and writer in the Metroplex. Inquiries and comments are welcome; email: newbury@speakerdoc.com. Phone: 817-447-3872. Web site: www.speakerdoc.com.

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