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Big Bad Rodger
Wednesday, March 18, 2009 • Posted March 18, 2009

It would be easy to dismiss Rodger Schlickeisen as a deranged nutcase, but that would be a mistake. Rodger Schlickeisen (yes, that is his real name, and yes, he actually admits it) is president of ‘defenders of wildlife action fund,’ a group of chronic bed-wetters whose purpose is, apparently, to separate unsuspecting Americans from their bank accounts. The money is then used to clog the already restricted arteries of the United States judicial system by filing frivolous and inane lawsuits in an effort to stop legal, ethical, and necessary conservation practices, such as hunting and trapping.

Rodger has lately had his Jockeys in a knot over wolves. In a recent column I mentioned that he and his misled miscreants are involved in a rabid attack on Alaska Governor Sarah Palin because of her support of aerial wolf hunting. Since then I have, somehow, been added to Rodger’s mailing list, because every few days I get an email from him, updating me on dow’s efforts to save the wolves.

At first I thought someone must have put me on Rodger’s list as a joke, but it may have been my own fault. I went to the website and sent Rodger a scathing message, telling him what an idiot he is. My main complaint was his reprehensible campaign to indoctrinate innocent children with his anti-conservation lies. But Rodger evidently doesn’t read his mail, and just puts everyone who writes to him on a list to receive his disgusting propaganda.

Anyway, the wolves in Alaska are not the only ones Rodger is concerned with saving. His emails of the last couple of weeks have been mainly concerned with the wolves in Idaho and Montana. It seems he’s miffed at Interior Secretary Ken Salazar for using common sense in allowing the wolves to be removed from the Endangered Species list. To hear Rodger tell it, Salazar is Public Enemy Number One.

Starting in 2000, Rodger spent pretty much his every waking moment blasting President Bush for everything he did, from his support for hunting to his horrible mistreatment of the First Dog. I think Rodger’s view was that it was cruel to name a dog Barney. Something about a dinosaur, or something. No matter what Dubya did, it was the wrong thing.

Now that Bush is no longer president, Rodger has had to transfer his venomous attacks elsewhere. He praised Obama for reversing a lot of Bush administration practices, and was highly complimentary of Salazar at first. But then Salazar went and muddied the waters with the wolf thing, and Rodger will probably never forgive him.

The problem is that there are, honestly, way too many wolves in Idaho and Montana, and Rodger can’t seem to understand how that is possible. According to the National Park Service, the wolves in Yellowstone National Park are so numerous they’re killing each other. Other problems include distemper, mange, and disease in wolf pups. All these maladies are generally caused by overpopulation.

But then, everyone is entitled to an opinion, even if it’s insane. I really don’t have a problem with Rodger wanting to save the wolves, since it gives me something to write about. I just wish he would stick to the facts, and quit making it sound like the wolves are in danger of extinction, which they are definitely not. He could come right out and say, “Look, I’m a whining crybaby, and I want people to stop killing wolves.” I could respect that.

Instead he lies. In one email he states, “Regular wolf hunting seasons could begin as early as this fall in Idaho and Montana – and Idaho Governor ‘Butch’ Otter said again today that he still wants the first available hunting tag to shoot a wolf himself.” (Emphasis Rodger’s) The next line in the email said, “We can’t allow the out-of-control killing of wolves to happen again.”

Obviously, the state of Idaho plans to issue wolf tags, which means, obviously, that the state of Idaho plans to very closely control how many wolves are killed. Which means, obviously, that no out-of-control wolf killing will go on.

According to the Idaho Dept. of Fish & Game, wolf depredation of livestock increased 1300 percent from 2005 to 2008. Nine wolves were killed in Idaho during the first four months of 2008.

In another email, Rodger blasted Salazar for his decision not to interfere with the wolf delisting, claiming, “It’s a decision that could lead to the deaths of more than 1000 wolves – including wolves in the western Greater Yellowstone ecosystem!”

This is also false. The state of Idaho planned to issue no more than 428 wolf tags for 2008. Unfortunately, Rodger and his band of blowhards managed to talk a judge into stopping the controlled wolf hunt in 2008. So now there are more wolves than ever, and Rodger’s still not happy. But the point is that no one knows yet how many wolf tags will be issued for 2009.

Rodger doesn’t lie about everything, though. In his last email he said, “Working with our sister organization, Defenders of Wildlife, we’re doing everything we can to save these wolves.”

Winston Churchill once said, “Truth is the first casualty of war.” I guess it’s also the first casualty of the environmentalist movement . . .

Kendal Hemphill is an outdoor humor columnist and public speaker who plans to apply for an Idaho wolf tag this fall. Write to him at PO Box 1600, Mason, Tx 76856 or jeep@verizon.net

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