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Thursday, March 26, 2009 • Posted March 26, 2009

Equal Rights for Women

“If all men were born free, how is it that all women were born slaves.”

(Jane Astell-1666-1735)

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Quite sometime ago, on the news, I saw a woman who had been a leading advocate for women’s rights for 50 years say that she was retiring from the fight with this one admonition to women: “stay useful.”

I’ll drink to that statement —but— it is my opinion that women can promote the current needs of our country by serving in their homes more so than in the professional world.

I will agree that man has made a mess of running this country and our world since the beginning of time. I can also agree with those who think that if God was paying close attention to man's failures he would have kicked him out of the leadership role long ago just as he kicked him out of the garden.

But laying all of this aside I don’t see what women have to gripe about nowadays. Compared to the women of yesteryear they have it quite easy. But, in spite of gaining unprecedented new freedoms they keep yelling for equal rights when if all rights were equal men would be living as long as women. In which case the women would be prevented from enjoying the wealth accumulated by their deceased husbands (and that, quite often, might be with a new husband).

Now I will agree that women should receive equal pay for the same work but my question is: Why is she out there wanting to do a man's work when she could be at home enjoying the fruits of man's labor in her behalf and taking care of her children?

Then too, just look at the things men have provided to make a woman’s life easier. Here are just a few for instances:

(1)- The washing machine — women no longer have to boil clothes in a pot of soapy water then manipulate the clothes through three or four tubs of rinsing water.

(2)- The clothes dryer — eliminated the clothes line.

(3)- Wash & wear clothes — eliminated 90% of the ironing (think of all the shirts that formerly needed ironing).

(4)- The dishwasher — disposed of washing & drying dishes.

(5)- The vacuum cleaner — practically put the broom out of business.

(6)- The microwave oven — eliminated “working over a hot stove all day”.

(7)- Frozen dinners — made 5 and 10 minute meals possible; eliminated the need for young women to learn to cook and allowed women to play bridge most of the day.

(8)- Television — which acts as baby sitter and keeps the husband occupied during his waking hours at home.

(9)-The telephone — that instrument which gave women quick access to the joy of their lives, gossip, and the means of spreading it all over town while it is hot.

(10)-And don’t forget the cattle guard — that’s the sucker that keeps the ranch wife from having to get out and open gates when her husband is driving.

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As proof of what all of these time saving conveniences have done for women The Survey Research Center of the University of Maryland found that they spent an hour and a half less time working in the home than did the women of 20 years earlier.”

However, in spite of this the researchers also found that the American home was getting dirtier because women “had better things to do with their time”.

Now ladies, don’t take your anger out on me I didn’t do the research. So why don’t you just stay home and keep your house clean and leave me alone!!

ON SECOND THOUGHT: I decided to do a little research of my own on the subject of women - please observe what I found:

James Thurber (Author) said “Woman’s place is in the wrong”, yet another author thought that while “women have a wonderful sense of right and wrong, they have little sense of right and left.” Then there would have to be the man who would say “give a woman an inch and she will park in it.”

There was the English novelist who apparently thought that to best get along with men, “a woman, especially, if she had the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as best she could”, while an American feminist writer asks “Aren’t women prudes if they don’t and prostitutes if they do?” And another who says “you see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.”

I will now end the fruits of my research with this “goodie” by a French writer “I am glad I am not a man, as I would be obliged to marry a woman.”

And to put an end to all this palaver I will quote the man who said “I wish Adam had died with all of his ribs in his body”.

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FOOTNOTE:

To add a little dressing to the above story here is some humor from the old Jewish Catskill comics of Vaudeville days and you will note that there is not a single swear word in their comedy:

1. I’ve been in love with the same woman for 40 years. If my wife ever finds out she will kill me

2.What are three words a woman never wants to hear when she’s making love? “Honey, I’m home”.

3.Someone stole my credit card, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.

4.She was at the beauty shop for two hours.That was only for the estimate. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

5.The doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn’t pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.

6.The doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying “Mrs. Cohen, your check came back”. Mrs. Cohen answered,”So did my arthritis.”

7. A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says,”You’ve been brought here for drinking.” The drunk says, “Okay, let’s get started”.

8. I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother- in-law to the airport.

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