One of the most frustrating things for a relative or friend of the alcoholic is trying to deal with blatant denial, especially when it seems so very obvious that there is definitely a problem here!
It can drive you crazy, absolutely nuts, when the alcoholic cannot admit that their behavior is causing us a problem……that what they are doing is destroying themselves and damaging others as well. Because we love the affable, clever and witty alcoholic, we act to protect them by covering for them, doing the work that they don’t get done, paying the bills that they don’t pay, rescuing them from their scrapes with the law, and generally taking up the responsibilities they have abandoned.
In Alanon you will discover that denial is part and parcel of the family disease of alcoholism. Denial is not part of the problem — denial IS the problem! We who love the alcoholic may be part of the problem by denying it exists and contributing to the family insanity.
Our expectations may be a bit too high……how can we expect someone else to be honest with us, when they are incapable of even being honest with themselves! At some point, we must start being honest with ourselves.
It’s not our job to convince someone else that he/she is in denial. We can have some measure of serenity by turning that job over to a power greater than ourselves. But that still doesn’t make it any less frustrating to see someone you care so much about destroy themselves….all the while, denying that it is happening.
Alanon is not allied with any sect, denomination, political entity, organization, or institution. It is a fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics who share their experience, strength, and hope, in order to solve their common problems. We meet every Tuesday at 6:00 p.m. at the Historical Building. Please call 347-5805 or 258-4441 for more information.