Shagnasty vs. Whistlebritches
My old friend Bolivar Shagnasty was trying to get me into a political argument and I said “No sir-ree, I’m not tangling with you on anything that has to do with politics or religion. If you want to talk about either of those two subjects you need to talk to my old buddy Elmer Whistlebritches.”
“Well, said Shagnasty, “trot him out here because I have a question to ask him.”
“He’s listening” I said, “so ask your question”.
“Well hi there Elmer, I didn’t see you standing there beside Bode. I want to ask you just how you feel about the Republicans wanting to give a tax break to the middle class which would have the ripple effect of boosting the economy versus the Democratic argument that it would only help the rich and increase our deficit?”
“Well now Shag” said Whistlebritces, “that seems to be a mighty big argument for a couple of poor old country boys to try to settle when those highly paid politicians can’t seem to get a handle on the solution. I will give you my thinking on this matter but I want you to understand that what I have to say is my opinion only and nothing else for I have been advised by Ol’ Whatshisname that in voicing only an opinion one can stay out of trouble.”
“I’ll buy that” said Shag, “so start talking in whatever voice you want to use.”
“All right” said Elmer, “in the first place it is my off-hand horseback opinion that the middle class do not need a tax cut and in all probability should they get one the resulting decrease in government revenue would only increase our high flying deficit.”
“How can you say such a thing” yells Shagnasty. “Hells fire man they are taxing us out of existence.”
“Oh, come off of it Shag you sound like some of those affluent senior citizens you have been criticizing for objecting to a reduction in their Cost Of Living Adjustments and their fear of means testing. If it is true that the middle class is being too heavily taxed then who is it paying the current high prices to fill up the sports arenas and stadiums all over the nation. It sure as hell isn’t the rich because there are not that many rich people (these people, the very rich, occupy only that small glassed-in section of these stadiums) - and it couldn’t be the poor because they don’t have the money to buy the tickets.
“Look at your entertainment area - who do you think it is that keeps these rich entertainers eating high on the hog? Who do you think buys the tickets to their shows and buys most of their records and CD’s? Do you suppose that all of that money comes from the rich? Oh, I will admit that even the poor lend their support to these rich dudes far too often, but don’t forget that it was you who called our attention to the class of people filling the cruise ships and entertainment houses - it sure as the devil isn’t the rich because I suspect that they have their own cruise ships (yachts). So it has to be the middle class - are they are the ones you say need a tax break?
In all likelihood if they paid less taxes they would either spend that money on more of the above or they would place it is savings. It is my opinion that the ones most needing a tax break are those just below the said “middle class.” Reduce their taxes and they would no doubt plow their savings back into the economy by spending it on essentials.
Now Shag, as I see it neither of these tax reductions have saved the recipients enough to allow them to put their savings into entrepreneural efforts which produce the jobs required to bring this country back to its former economy. In my view then it is only the rich who can do that..... give them a chance to make more money without taking it all away from them in taxes and perhaps, now remember I said perhaps, they can accomplish what our politicians can’t seem to do....... and that is to put the people losing their jobs back to work.
Of course there is another thing that could help a lot and that is if the Judas Iscariots in our congress would quit lining their campaign purses with the 30 pieces of silver doled out by the corporations of America and pass laws to prevent such bribery. Then they should bite the hands that have been bribing them by passing a law to get corporate America off our welfare rolls.
At this point Shagnasty interrupted to say “Well now Elmer, you have some valid points there and you certainly hit a sore spot when you mention the jobless. My son, formerly employed by an eastern firm, was without a job for nearly two years and I’m telling you for a fact that I felt his misery way down here in Texas. Now with all of these corporation lay-offs and base closings more and more people are going to be in the shape my son was in - I tell you it is frightful.”
“Touché” said Whistlebritches, “you’ve hit my point right on the head. We need money released from taxation that can be put into undertakings that produce jobs. Jobs that will get people out of the welfare lines; get people off the streets; restore their feeling of self worth and instill in them the pride of accomplishment. With all of our people working perhaps then we might regain some of those old moral values which are missing in much of the family life of today and at the same time reinstall character in our youth which was lost through long years of unemployment and idleness.”
Shagnasty grinned and said “ I’ll swear to goodness Elmer. Durned if you don’t sound just like Bode when he starts preaching.”