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"Down the Drain with Jane"
Wednesday, July 29, 2009 • Posted July 29, 2009

Before O’Bladder gets his health care package approved, I decided to get my physical self in order. The first step was to get an appointment with an Internist. Okay, I called for an appointment the middle of June and got one for the last part of July. This means, the Doctor is busy with folks thinking like I’m thinking.

My appointment was at 2 in the afternoon, but I’m never late, so I arrived fifteen minutes before hand. (This was mistake number one.) After waiting in the reception room for over an hour, I was shuffled into another room to wait until 3:30. The nurse asked me a lot of questions, but this was cut short when I said, “I’m adopted.”

Doctor appears with laptop in hand and asks more questions. He then asks me when I got my last Tetanus shot. I didn’t recall ever getting one. I never recalled stepped on a nail. Then the subject of “SMOKING” was brought up. One of these days, I’m just going to tell them that I don’t smoke or I quit smoking years back. Then they can’t blame everything on “SMOKING!”

Never take the wrong order into the X-Ray department. (This was mistake number two.) I gave them the paperwork for the neurologist and not the one for the X-Ray. You would have thought the lady in the X-Ray department was going to have a heart attack. (I don’t think she smokes. So she couldn’t have a heart attack. Only people who smoke have heart attacks.) But, everything was cool when I gave them the right orders.

Seeing as how I was told to fast, I was rather hungry at 5 that fine afternoon. So, I got a tuna salad in the hospital cafeteria. However, I had to go into the kitchen to ask someone to come and take my money.

The wheels are now in motion, my ankle and leg are still swollen and hard to walk on them, but then maybe by my next appoint the middle of August, they’ll know why. But, until then I’ll just limp and waddle around. But, I’ll be okay if I should step on a nail.

The moral of this story is, never admit smoking to anyone (Tell them you tried it once, but never inhaled.) and never be on time to the doctor’s office! (They’re like the Airline Companies, they over book!)

P.S. Life’s a bowl of Cherries; you’ll be in one pit or the other!

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