Mason County News
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"Down The Drain With Jane"
Wednesday, October 7, 2009 • Posted October 7, 2009

There have been several sightings of “Twitchy Spandexs,” lately! Two were spotted by my Spandex lookout post in Grit, Texas. Heavens to Betsy, Grit?

Now, I’ve been told that “Twitchy Spandexers” have as much right to the highways and ranch roads as anyone else. Let’s not get our spandex panties in a knot, but there is a factor of SAFETY.

When a rancher is taking his ladies and gents to the auction in one of those big long “COW LIMO’S,” he’s not looking out for some “Twitchy Spandexers!” You see it’s all he can do to be able to brake safely when needed and it wouldn’t be good if he had to ditch to avoid a Spandex Rear-end, who has no paved shoulder to pull off on.

Now, I know you wear reflective clothing. But, there is no amount of duct tape that you can put on your body, along with the bright orange color that is going to help when the cow limo comes over a hill and there you are. It’s just not SAFE for you or the cute little caves.

How can you see the beauty of the countryside when you’re all hunched over? Too, doesn’t your back hurt having to bend over like that? Your butt must get sour having to sit on that little bitty seat. Seems to me that could cause one a problem with any future lineage to ones family tree.

Now, I know you want exercise and you want fresh air. I know you enjoy the country side. How can you see anything all hunched over looking down at the ground? When you need to go to the bathroom on one of your tours, where do you go? Do you space yourself from one rest stop to the next? Your bladder must be better than mine.

Putting all the funny stuff aside, you’re not safe out there. I don’t want to see you get hurt and I sure don’t want an auto to have to ditch because of you either. So, play it safe and travel on roads that have a shoulder stripped off for you. And DON’T HOG THE ROAD! OKAY?

P.S. Roads sometimes have skunks and snakes that cross them, personally I want to be in an enclosed car should one of these critters cross the road in frount of me!

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