Don’t leave home without it.
A veritable Guidebook to Life.
Especially how to maneuver the manure.
How to spread it and how thick.
So I bought a copy online…for $6.95.
No wonder they aren’t free anymore.
But it’s worth every hard-earned penny.
Don’t be fooled by imitation almanacs either.
This one says "The Original Farmer’s Almanac" right on the cover.
Along with "Useful, With a Pleasant Degree of Humor."
Once you get used to reading the dang thing, it’s hard to start up a new year without one.
Gardening guide by sun and moon and tide.
When to get your hair cut (if you want it to grow fast or not).
When to dig postholes.
And very useful when making travel plans.
The almanac covers weather predictions for every month of the year for 48 states.
Go online to "Almanac.com/Weather" for 7-day predictions based on zip codes and weather history for the entire United States and Canada too.
And then decide if you want to fly through a thunderstorm or not.
There’s also "Zodiac Secrets."
Best fishing days and times.
A list of holidays and observances.
How to measure a tornado.
How to classify clouds.
And a table for figuring the windchill.
Which, today, felt like 27 degrees.
There’s something for everybody in this magical little book.
Even for my friendly fellow columnist, Jane Z:
How the poinsettia got its name!
Talk about cheap thrills.
And so much to learn.
Such as "flexitarians" are occasional vegetarians.
And "Rock, Paper, Scissors" is played around the world.
That’s good to know.
Renee Walker is an author, poet, and real estate broker on the square.
used to hand them out to all their customers until Farmers Insurance cut back.