Mason County News
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Gun Nuts and Bolts
Wednesday, March 17, 2010 • Posted March 17, 2010

My friend, Bob Terrell, recently brought me an article from the March 10 issue of the San Angelo Standard Times, because it contained an article that is extremely offensive to Americans. But then, those kinds of articles don’t seem to raise a lot of dust these days. Maybe that’s because there are fewer and fewer Americans in America, per capita.

This particular piece of trash was written by Dan K. Thomasson. Mr. Thomasson, while articulate and engaging, is dumber than a trigger guard. And I say that with the utmost respect.

Mr. Thomasson entitled his garbage ‘The several varieties of gun nuts.’ Right away it’s obvious that this guy has no idea what he’s talking about. As evidence for this statement I submit that anyone who would write that line doesn’t like guns to begin with, and the only reason for a sane, rational human to dislike inanimate objects is because he doesn’t know anything about them.

Guns are just tools, no more dangerous or evil than cars which, by the way, are indirectly responsible for many times as many American deaths each year as guns are indirectly responsible for. A dislike of guns is as stupid as a dislike of coffee tables. If you don’t want one, don’t buy one, but leave everyone else alone.

I would bet a truckload of .223 ammo that, should Mr. Thomasson find himself in a dark alley facing several high gang members, he would become a ‘gun nut’ in a jiffy. Of course, by that time it would be too late.

The first line of the article says "Firearms mania seems to fall into several broad categories with elements of each in the other." The first rule of holes, which Mr. Thomasson has evidently not learned, is to quit digging.

‘Mania’ is, according to Mr. Webster, "1) insanity characterized by uncontrollable emotion or excitement 2) excessive or unreasonable enthusiasm." So people who own guns are, according to Mr. Thomasson, either insane or, at the very least, excessive or unreasonable.

According to the rest of the article, the people Mr. Thomasson believes are either insane or excessive are those who advocate that the Second Amendment guarantees an individual right to keep and bear arms. In other words, if you are silly enough to believe 2A means what it says, you’re nuts.

Mr. Thomasson makes it clear in his article that he isn’t talking about people who own huge numbers of guns, or go out and shoot everything in sight at every opportunity, or even people who obtain a Concealed Handgun License and carry a gun around sometimes. All you have to do to qualify as a ‘gun nut’ or a ‘maniac’ in his book is to believe you have a right to own a gun.

Well, I’m beginning to wonder if there aren’t certain people who shouldn’t be allowed to own a typewriter. I guess Mr. Thomasson should be glad the First Amendment applies to individuals, as does the Second, or else he might not be allowed to express his ludicrous opinions.

Now, just to be sure we know what kind of people Mr. Thomasson thinks are ‘gun nuts’ and ‘maniacs,’ let’s look at some interesting quotes.

"Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not." ~ Thomas Jefferson

"I ask, sir, what is the militia? It is the whole people. To disarm the people is the best and most effective way to enslave them." ~ George Mason

"Firearms stand next in line to the constitution itself. They are the American people’s liberty teeth and keystone under independence. From the hour the pilgrims landed to the present day, events, occurrences, and tendencies prove that to ensure peace, security, and happiness, the rifle and pistol are equally indispensable. The very atmosphere of firearms anywhere restrains evil interference – they deserve a place of honor with all that’s good." ~ George Washington

"Encouraging firearms restrictions encourages lawlessness. A vote for gun control is a vote for murder, rape, and oppression." ~ me

"No freeman shall ever be debarred the use of arms." ~ Thomas Jefferson

There is an old saying that the true test of a man’s intelligence is the extent to which he agrees with you. It seems Mr. Thomasson disagrees with some pretty smart people, some of the most respected and revered leaders of our country. And me.

The bottom line, though, is that it doesn’t matter what Mr. Thomasson thinks about guns or the people who own them. It doesn’t matter what you or I think about them, either. It is irrelevant whether some ignorant and uninformed wacko believes we should be debarred the use of guns. Firearms ownership is our right as human beings, and it is guaranteed us as Americans. Mr. Thomasson can whine and wet himself all he wants, it won’t change the facts.

And when you look at the issue intelligently, it would seem the term ‘maniac’ more aptly applies to those who don’t appreciate guns than to those who do.

I realize we can’t all agree. But I believe we could all use common sense . . .

Kendal Hemphill is an outdoor humor columnist and public speaker who doesn’t care much for plowing for others. Write to him at PO Box 1600, Mason, Tx 76856 or

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