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"Down the Drain with Jane"
Wednesday, September 1, 2010 • Posted September 1, 2010

The first "Down The Drain With Jane." was printed on September 5th, 1980! That’s THIRTY YEARS!!!!!! So, I’d like you to read my very first that went out on Wednesday, September 5, 1980, in the ONION CREEK FREE PRESS:

How to tell when you’re having Septic tank problems:

1. When your children beg to go next door to use the john, because their’s flushes everything down.

2. When you’re dialing Roto-Rooter more than Dial-A-Prayer.

3. When you dial Roto-Rooter and then dial Dial-A-Prayer.

4. When your bath water is dirty and you haven’t stepped into your tub yet.

5. When you get thank-you-grams from Roto-Rooter.

6. When people open up the bathroom door and scream, "OH, MY——!"

7. When you receive a twenty pound turkey at Christmas from Roto-Rooter for your faithful patronage.

What to do when you have Septic tank problems.

1. Keep on good terms with you nearest neighbor.

2. Find out if the service station nearest you is open 24 hours.

3. Memorize Roto-Rooter’s phone numbers.

4. Establish good credit with the Roto-Rooter Company.

5. Save all coffee cans (do not give to school or the church).

6. Do not plan weekend trips to Mexico.

7. Refrain from heavy drinking of all liquids and discontinue the use of diuretics.

8. Postpone parties, club meetings and any type of gatherings at your house.

9. BUY A GOOD PORTO-POTTY!!!!

P.S. There was no PS? Oh, yes, the Septic problems I had back then.

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