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Finding Hope in a (Seemingly) Hopeless Situation
Wednesday, November 3, 2010 • Posted November 3, 2010

The following was taken from an Internet site called First Steps to Al-Anon Recovery:

"Wow…I just heard about Al-Anon for the first time today and came home and got directly online to find out more. I’m pretty much at the end of my rope. I feel like I’m enabling my husband by staying with him. Unfortunately, I’m ready to walk out the door and I don’t want a divorce, I just want to lead a separate life from him, until he realizes he needs some real help. To this day he has never seriously admitted he even has a problem. Hmmm, hence this is his 3rd marriage and my first.

It’s so amazing…it’s like you’re walking around in this haze thinking, how did I get here? Jeez, how dumb. You go to college for four years and your goal is to graduate. So, you date someone for years and your goal is to get married but you don’t ever stop and look at all of the other person’s behaviors and think, is that the way I want to live my life? I mean, that’s exactly what I should’ve done, but have no reason why I didn’t.

How did I not say, "In 5, 10, 15, 20 years I want to be here and live this kind of life"? Well, it’s never too late and I’m not going to live this kind of life anymore. Now, if I could just find an awesome 2 bedroom apt. to move to! Oh, it’s not going to be easy, but I give it to God. I’m going to pray, pray, pray and hopefully something will work out. All I can do for him now is pray for him. It’s out of my control. It never was.

I have a young toddler who is learning from me as I did from my mother. Hopefully I’ll be able to guide her toward the right person/relationship by example."

We who have been attending Al-Anon have learned to recognize the enabling patterns we tend to develop after living with the alcoholic or drug addict. In the non-threatening Al-Anon environment, it’s a relief to share with those who have been there, and the healthy behaviors and responses we learn eventually lead us to a new beginning with or without the alcoholic in our lives. Whether it’s your mom, dad, wife, husband, significant other, aunt, uncle, sister, brother, friend, Al-Anon can help you deal with the drinking or drug problem. Remember, you didn’t cause it, you can’t control it, and you can’t cure it, but you can help yourself and hopefully in the long run your loved one.

Mason Al-Anon Group meets at the Historical Building on Tuesdays at 6:00 p.m. For more information, please call 258-4441.

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