For years people have been telling me I needed a blog. At first I thought they were making a joke, since I didn’t know what a blog was, and I thought they were being smart alecks. Actually, at first I thought they were saying ‘glob,’ and I would ask, "Glob of what?" The only globs I knew of were globs of mud and Bryl-Crème, and I figured I could do without either, thanks all the same.
Of course, blog is short for weblog, and it’s a strange word that didn’t used to exist, before everybody had computers. In case you’re not familiar, people with absolutely no social life spend large sectors of time posting inane comments on their websites, for other people who lack lives to read and comment on. Blogs are basically the technological version of whittling and gossiping combined.
So I didn’t think I needed a blog, since I figured no one would be interested in reading it, and if they were, then I would be wasting not only my time, but also someone else’s. Which I guess would be more efficient than just wasting one person’s time at a time, but when you start thinking like that you’ve already lost the war.
But then, a couple of years ago Don Zaidle, my editor at Texas Fish & Game magazine, asked me if I wanted a blog. He was setting blogs up on the TF&G website for some of the magazine’s columnists, and must have had some cyberspace left over. So I said sure, I’d take a small one, and he set it up.
As it turns out, I was right about the blog. The main problem is that I can’t ever remember to update it, so no one ever goes there to look at it. If they do, and they see what was there the last time they checked, they get bored and don’t look again. People are real dependable that way. If you bore them once they stay bored indefinitely. It’s nothing like buying a politician, where you have to keep giving them money over and over.
Don remembers to update his blog pretty regular, and he also sends out emails that tell what he’s just updated his blog with. I get the emails, and sometimes check out what he’s posted. Once in a while I get a column out of these posts, which means my editor is pretty much doing my job for me. I like Don.
Lately he’s been putting some pretty interesting stories on his blog. The other day he posted an article about HB 750, a bill currently before the Texas legislature that would allow people with concealed handgun licenses to carry guns on Texas college campuses. This is definitely a good idea, no matter what your bed-wetting liberal friend says.
For one thing, no law has ever prevented a crime, since that’s not possible. If someone is willing to go on a college campus and shoot people, a law that says he shouldn’t do that won’t make any difference. Laws against campus carry will, however, keep honest people from being able to stop the knothead before he shoots very many people. So banning guns on campuses creates a free-fire zone for the wackos. Schools might as well give all their students T-shirts with targets printed on them.
I know, this is a touchy subject, and plenty of people are against campus carry. Those people are wrong. If they give you any trouble tell them to come talk to me, and I’ll straighten them out.
Don also posted a story recently about Climategate, the incident in late 2009 where emails between climate scientists in the US and the UK were leaked. These emails revealed that the scientists had deliberately altered climate data to ensure it supported the theory of global warming. The story said that Climategate had caused a lot of people to doubt the accuracy of the global warming hype.
Not me. Climategate didn’t make any difference at all in my opinion, since I already believed the scientists were making things up. I based my opinion on the fact that it snowed at Easter in Central Texas a couple of years ago, when it’s usually real hot. So there you go.
Another story Don posted was entitled ‘Animal loons experiment with neutering deer in lieu of hunting.’ I suspect Don made that title up. The story is about the state of Maryland, and some others, tranquilizing does and giving them the snip, to see if they can cut down on suburban deer populations. Don is being nice when he calls these people loons.
So I guess blogs are sometimes a good idea, if you can remember to update them on a regular basis, like Don does. If the stuff you post is interesting, lots of folks are going to want to look at it every day.
But if all you’re going to post is how you use globs of Bryl-Crème on your hair, you’d just as well not bother . . .
Kendal Hemphill is an outdoor humor columnist and public speaker who understands your concerns about global warming. Send your comments to firstname.lastname@example.org. For everything else write to PO Box 1600, Mason, Tx 76856 or email@example.com