Last Tuesday, at the regular, weekly lunch meeting of my local Lion’s Club, which is held in the back room of Zavala’s Mexican Food Restaurant & Mensa Society, Pat Reardon tapped me on the shoulder. Pat is also a Lion, and a fine fellow, when he isn’t interrupting my meal.
Pat wanted to know if I was joking in a recent column, when I mentioned that the Texas Parks & Wildlife Commission had made it legal to hunt game animals in Texas with suppressed weapons. I assured him that I had not made that up. He seemed a little surprised to hear it, though, which caused me to wonder if others may have thought I was kidding about that tidbit of news. For some reason, people sometimes get the idea I’m not totally serious all the time.
So, for the record, I wasn’t joking. It really is legal now to hunt game animals with suppressors. All the other rules still apply, of course, such as you need a hunting license, and you have to hunt during the legal season, and you can’t do stupid stuff, like shooting after dark or across a fence into a neighbor’s pasture, and you have to bring me one backstrap from each deer you kill. But suppressors are legit.
I know, there will be some who complain about this new rule, and you may encounter someone who doesn’t think suppressors should be legal. When that happens, you should do your best to educate and enlighted that person with the facts, by laughing and pointing at them.
No, seriously, that would be rude. Funny, but rude. What you should really do is ask that person why they think suppressors shouldn’t be legal for hunting. If anyone ever comes up with an honest, sensible answer, let me know. And I’ll point at them and laugh. Because there isn’t one.
Of course, to own a suppressor, you have to apply for a federal permit and wait several months while your request is approved. And you have to send in a $200 permit fee. This, without question, makes a lot of sense. Because if the federal government didn’t require a permit, and charge $200, they would otherwise not be able to get your $200. Other than that it’s pretty stupid.But, in case you weren’t already aware, the federal government is in the business of stupid. According to a story sent in by a regular reader of this column who happens to be my wife, our government regularly reads electronic mail that contains keywords, such as gun, and ammo, and constitution, and other stuff that us bad guys say. My wife said they probably have a government employee whose only job is to scrutinize my emails. I would be disappointed if they didn’t.
But because our government is paranoid, and believes its citizens are not to be trusted, I was surprised to find out that the Slide Fire Solutions bumpfire stock has been approved by the ATF.
Slide Fire Solutions is a company near Abilene that has developed a buttstock for an AR that enables a semiautomatic rifle to be shot almost as fast as an automatic one. Basically, the stock is not static, but slides back and forth on the buffer tube, and part of it extends to right beside the trigger guard. So if you put the rifle to your shoulder, and put your finger through the triggerguard and rest it on the stock piece, and then pull forward on the rifle until your finger depresses the trigger, the rifle fires. And if you maintain that forward pressure, the rifle bounces back and forth, and your finger keeps hitting the trigger, and the gun keeps shooting, until you stop pulling forward on the rifle or you run out of ammo.
Slide Fire sent me one of their stocks to try out, and I put it on my Smith & Wesson M&P 15. Leret, my 16-year-old son, and I made the trip to my range, which is five steps from my front porch, and tried it out. Immediately I saw a couple of major problems with the stock.
For one thing, I only had about 700 rounds of .223 ammo, which was totally inadequate for the task at hand. Once you start shooting with the Slide Fire, you just can’t quit. And if you’re 16, and don’t have to buy your own ammo, it’s even worse. Full auto is just too much fun.
Now, we couldn’t hit anything. At all. We started out kind of aiming at a target, but that didn’t last long. We ended up just shooting to be shooting. Which, with that stock, made perfect sense.But the other problem is that, when you go through a 30-round mag on full auto, you look like an idiot, because you can’t quit grinning for five minutes afterward. At least Leret couldn’t. And I have video to prove it.
The Slide Fire Solutions bumpfire stock – When all your ammo absolutely, positively has to be shot up overnight . . .
Kendal Hemphill is an outdoor humor columnist and public speaker who is in the market for some cheap .223 ammo. Write to him at PO Box 1600, Mason, Tx 76856 or firstname.lastname@example.org